Hello, my name is Amber Thomsen and I attend Moanlua High School in Honolulu, Hawaii. I am an avid and passionate follower of seventeen magazine. I love all the clothes, makeup, and body advise that are included in your magazine. I also love the real life stories and advise for school that are sometimes featured in your magazine.
But this letter is not only to praise the magazine, I am writing to inform you on how I personally feel about a particular section of your magazine. This section I am referring to is located in the December/January issue; the love life section. I do very much enjoy this part of the magazine, I sometimes find it useful and entertaining. Although, I felt strongly that the "hookup do's" section is promoting hookup's and I find that somewhat wrong. This section tells us that it's okay to jump into a NEW HOOKUP, hook up with people FROM WORK, and hookup with EX'S. This to me seems a bit uncalled for. Our mothers or adult figures do not teach us that hookup's are alright. It seems a bit hypocritical.
But I will commend that it did say some things to avoid. It does say that we should first find out why the past relationships did not work so to not get hurt. But that just gives me mixed signals. Should I just hookup with a new guy right after I just broke up with boyfriend or wait to get over him?
Sincerely,
Amber Thomsen
Amber, your letter is good and yes, it does state what they need to fix about the magazine.
ReplyDeleteBut you should add more about how serious it is to you. You should also state what parts really get to you. You shoud be more firm and state that they are not sending a good message to the teens and that they should change it.
Good job thoughh:) and have fun revising it, your final is gonna come out good:)
- Jisel
Amber,
ReplyDeleteyour letter is good and a great topic. I didn't think about that as being an issue until you brought it up :) Although you can make changes to make you letter better. I agree with Jisel that you should explain more about houw serious and critical it is to you. You could put an example or two if this has affected someone you know.
Good job with the draft & good luck with the revision!
-thea
arggghhhh!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI just had my comment disappear in a "broken link" error message...bleah....
Okay....here we go again...
I enjoyed reading the letter...interesting to see what's up in Seventeen, a magazine that's been around for a while.
Your teammates have given you good ideas about how to make the letter even more successful. Thea's suggestion about real world examples was good as it shows the effect of the magazine on teens and why they should listen to your comments.
I would add to that, include quotes from the article that you felt were incompatible with the values or philosophy of the magazine.
mrs s