Draft of College Essay

Evaluate a significant experience, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

That night, like any other weekend, my mother had another cup of wine. Drinking and drinking until she was in that state that makes you feel like you have entered la-la land. That’s usually how it is around my family. They all get very intoxicated, have fun, and open up way too many issues and truths that some can’t always handle. Of course not every weekend we have these wild family parties where most of our cherished memories are made...

I grew up around that kind of behavior, but I can say that what I got out of their experiences has opened my eyes greatly to the new or old wounds it can open.
My mother that I love oh-so-much, with her opinionated demeanor and her open-mindedness quality that has come much to my benefit, seems to never be able to keep her mouth closed. If ever in this situation, you better find yourself far away from my mother’s path. If she has something to say, she will say it, especially if it’s something you should hear and no one else will say. My mother always sparks up these infamous debates between whomever and most times, doesn’t let up until her side has clearly made an ample argument. I can say in all honesty, I am my mothers’ daughter in almost everyway.
So anyway, that night opened up a whole cacophony of drama that opened all our eyes. Sometimes things can just float by unnoticed by many, and what surprises me the most, is how we let it go unnoticed. My mother decided to lecture my twenty-three-year-old cousin, who by the way, doesn’t have a job, doesn’t pay rent, and doesn’t stay fit. We used to joke about how he was “the loser” in our family, and we all noticed that he doesn’t have the drive to do anything for himself. Even I, a high intuitive fifteen-year-old, notices when people who are highly capable of doing so many things lack the determination. But sometimes, even the most perceptive person can see right past the reality of something.

That night we learned my cousin had an illness. Not a physical illness, but a forbidding and exceedingly feared mental illness. What we failed to see was that my cousin was mutilating himself since high school. This sent him to the hospital where he spent the night in the psych ward. I remember him saying “I was doing it since high school, and not one of you noticed.” Usually this type of mentality can be found in girls. To hear of this type of thing happening in guys lives, is not unusual, but still very upsetting and shameful. And I honestly think that’s what my papa, who was my cousins guardian in his earlier years, thought of. How it is so shameful on the family, how being in denial that something is wrong is better than the truth of the situation, of how people can just let things fly by unnoticed by all who care for him. It showed that we lacked in some part.

How can a family let their loved one go by like this without noticing that something was out of place? Now that we all think about it, we can point out signs that have been there all along. Our own family member has been getting worse and worse, and while that was happening, we were too busy with our own selfish lives to even look deeper and do something.
I learned that we need to understand people on their level. We sometimes are too busy to think about others and all we do is complain and mope around. All we did was criticize and question why cant you? But we didn’t think of the “what’s wrong” or the “how comes.” All we like to do is feel sorry for ourselves and criticize others to make ourselves feel better about our own unsatisfying lives. Through my years I have faced so many problems that opened my eyes to this one reality, but how many times do I return to my old ways? Too many. I try and try and try, but it hardly ever last. It’s the peer pressure of it. If you find your friends doing it, you tend to do the same. Sometimes you are just guilty by association. You could be wrong just because you didn’t open your mouth about something that was said or done that was wrong. I learned from church that it’s one thing to say you’re a Catholic, and it’s another to live like it. How many times do I find myself straying from the Catholic way?

I have learned to accept those who are different, and help those who need my help. This discovery has helped shape me. I understood that I wanted to be psychology major and hopefully help those who need help understanding themselves and others. I have always been a good listener and advice giver. I always analyze other people problems or habits right down to the bone and understand their situation. I just need to figure out the best methods to help solve the problems. I strive to be on top and I have so many stories. These people that I love have push me even when I was done with them pushing me. I accepted them for who they are but sometimes it takes longer for me to accomplish that.